3 posts tagged “moving”

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Saturday the 21st

Jun 21, 2008
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How I will spend my last nine days in Oklahoma::::

okay so this is basically just a photo update. The first is of my new Starbucks that I'll be working at in Baton Rouge. The two of me are just me chilling on my porch right now, killing time before we leave for Tulsa for Momentum. And last, is the result of my boredom at 2 am this morning. I made it for our going away party. 9 days people. crazy.

-kitty cat update:

So, this has been a really difficult decision for Shannon, but I think he may end up sending Coolio, his cat since he was little, to live with his Dad in Altus. Miles (my enormous cat) keeps initiating fights with Coolio, and her eye got hurt so bad a week or so ago that we had to take her to the emergency vet! And it happened again, only to her other eye. Plus she's NOT happy with another cat in the house, and never has been. So that, in addition to all the spraying/marking issues I guess is why Shannon thinks it might be for the best. I feel mixed emotions on it, because at one time I actually suggested this to Shannon, and it really upset him.

But now, I know how much she means to him and I know that it is asking a lot. And she's really old, so I'm not sure how the drive down to Baton Rouge (the 10-12 hour drive) would be on her. It sucks. It's a bad situation either way, no matter what ends up happening. I just hope everything can possibly somehow work out for the best despite that.

-photo update

All my photos lately have been coming from photobooth or the point and shoot nikon, sadly I already packed my cameras, and the disk reader for the D100, which I REALLY wanted to upload some photos from that I took the other night but I don't even know which "Office" box it's in.

-going away party June 27th

no crying. that means everyone. no crying!

-money update

apparently my economic stimulus check was direct deposited into my NORMAN banking account over a fucking month ago! geez! I don't even use that account anymore. In fact, i usually just throw the statements away cause i had like 12 bucks in that account. I only got 300. little bummed about that. I was hoping for more!

I'm off to get gas now and get ready for the art show tonight! yay! I'm in an art show. I'm so stoked! :) :) :)

From a recent shoot....

Jun 4, 2008
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smallslide065

I took a trip down to Durant a week or so ago to visit my parents and drink margaritas all day while they were at work. I made it a point to NOT drink margaritas one of the days until I made it into town to shoot this Colvert Dairy sign yet again. The first time I shot it all I had was a poloroid camera and the sun was going down, so I made do. This time I was a little over ambitious and accidently showed up around high noon so the lighting was well, not so fantastic.

I need to re-print some poloroid enlargements today since my fiance and I are going to Tulsa on Sunday to enter some pieces into the art show "Momentum" which is for young Oklahoma Artists under 30.

I stayed up until 5 am last night. I think I found a place to live in Baton Rouge for us. It will definitly be a place to check out when we go visit next week.

ahhhh. nervous! I MADE THIS GRAPH just in case anyone is confused about the way I feel about Oklahoma!

Graph

please please please let me get what I want this time

Apr 13, 2008
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I feel like it's time to leave this state. I just woke up with this completely over-whelming feeling that it's time to go. I feel like I'm taking up space. This is the time of year when I usually feel the most motivated and challenged to produce writing and I just feel so creative. It's not that I feel like I'm not producing anything, in fact lately I've been writing and shooting photographs a lot. But then I sleep all the time. I sleep as much as I can and I wake up and I feel so tired. The only thing that can really get me back to my usual self is smoking cigarettes and drinking an insane amount of caffeine.

I did go out last night with some friends, and I drank quite a bit, but I've never had the urge to sleep until almost 4 p.m. even on times in the past where I've been really hung over. I wasn't hung over this morning.

and this is the thing,

I'm excited, so excited, for my friend Hannah, who just moved to California and was offered an assistant store manager position at her Starbucks. But I can't help feel insanely envious. I mean she gets a new state, a new state of mind, new people to meet and talk to and an offer to move up in a really great company to work for. but she made this happen. It took a lot of guts to move out there, not knowing what lies ahead. For a while that was really bothering me, not being sure if I would have the guts to make it somewhere else, away from all my comforts and all my friends that I don't want to leave. But I feel ready now, and that fear has grown a lot smaller and weaker.

I feel like I'm working so hard, and there's nothing to show for it, and I'm no closer to getting promoted than I was a year ago. I'm taking deep breaths, and trying to think of all the good things that have been happening lately, but I'm afraid that won't be enough. I'm afraid I'm going to end up stuck. I don't know where I'm going to end up and that's the thing that's scaring me right now. I don't know if this is going to blow away in the morning tomorrow or if it's just going to be pushed into the back of my head for right now.

I can't do anything right now, cause I'm too bombarded by everything. I can't think straight. I can't drown away my sorrows with friends and drinking or my usual avoidance of the issue at hand. I can't gain any insight into this through talking to people. I feel alone in this, even though I know shannon is right here next to me probably full of the same self-doubt and wishing things would just work out for once.

I'm just wishing that Shannon will get accepted to Kansas, because otherwise I don't know where we are going, but I know we both need it. We both need to get out of Oklahoma because we're young and we need to travel. We need to get out to have access to new opportunities. We need to get out because we both hate the idea of growing up in the same place, and staying in one's comfort zone and never really growing your accomplishments into anything valuable or memorable. It's most important to people like us, because we both don't really believe there's anything after death, and with that kind of mindset, you have to be successful in your life because that's all you have.